I wear my TruGlo Denali Tritium Watch because a) it's stylish, and b) it keeps me safe.

Now don't get me wrong: this is a great, attractive watch. Its black stainless steel case, its rich leather band, and its multi-Jeweled Precision Swiss Quartz Movement? You could buy it just for that stuff.

But for me, my primary concern is safety. You see, I live in the "Little Zurich" part of town, and around here, if you're not Swiss, you get a lot of flak. Like just last month, I saw someone get beat up outside of the little corner market just for saying he didn't really care for Heidi. Another time, a guy got thrown out of a bar - like literally thrown - for saying, "I thought most Swiss people spoke French," when in reality it's a predominantly German-speaking nation. And then there's all the people who get verbally assaulted for misinterpreting all the rich Alpine symbolism. It's crazy!

So, in my hood, wearing a Swiss-made watch is not only a fashion statement; it's like saying, "Hey, we're cool. I'm one of you." Also, I changed my name from Roger Anderson to Armand Borel II. That helps a lot, too.

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