Down the real bayou, the only training apparati we need is alligators.
Gar ici, cher: everybody at mymomenem knows you get a bonne workout from a fais do do with that big caimon. That'll put a gris gris on your beignet-gut as easy as looking up some online Cajun dictionaries and writing some fake bayou lingo, for true!
If alligators are thin on the ground around your place, this Bayou Fitness Total Trainer will do. Pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups, leg presses, whatever tickles your freesons, and you don't have to worry about a gator bite, neither. Only bad thing about it is, after your workout you can't cut it up and make soup with it.