If it was really perfect, it would just blink "you're pretty" every time I stepped on it.
Don't we as a society put enough pressure on ourselves to be perfect? That's why I don't pay any attention to BIA or BMI or BRB or any of that nonsense. You know how I measure fitness? Can I see my shoes without bending over? No. So I should probably work on that.
And I don't have any use for that Calorie Predictor neither, because I don't read labels. In fact, I scratch out all the values and write things like this instead:
Calories: Who cares! You're pretty.
Fat: Yes. And isn't it delicious?
Trans Fat: Rainbows!!!
Sodium: You're cute when you're puffy!
And so on and so forth. You might think I'm silly, or dumb or delusional. But I've got it on good authority from the Post-Its stuck to my mirror that I'm actually quite charming, intelligent and not in denial at all.