An Open Letter to Bikers Everywhere:

How can I put this delicately? No one likes you.

Drivers don’t like you. You block up the road by going too slowly and you make drivers nervous because they can’t tell what you’re going to do next. And please, don’t even mention those weird hand signals. No one knows what those are supposed to mean, and I’m pretty sure sometimes you just make them up.

Pedestrians don’t like you either. You take up all the space on the sidewalk and you come through so fast that it’s scary and dangerous. You come up behind people while they’re wearing their headphones and scare them when you whiz by. One of you even ran over my shoe one time!

Other bikers don’t even like you! Other bikers just want to prove that they’re better bikers than you. That they have better equipment and better biking etiquette. They don’t, but that’s not the point. The point is: no one wants you around.

Listen, I’m not saying you have to stop biking, I’m just saying you could be a little more discreet about it. Try to stay out of everybody’s way a little more. Find a way to get your biking fix in in the privacy of your own home.

When you think about it, it’s the only safe and decent option you have.

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