Stanley 24 Oz Water Bottle or Portable Liquid Penitentiary... we really don't care what you call it.

Sir, I've got good news and bad news.

"Bad news first, please."

Well, people aren't super psyched about buying something called 'A Water Prison.'

"What? But don't they want to trap water and punish it for all the crimes it's committed against humanity?"

Nope. In fact, word from the focus groups is that people really like water...

"Well, they just aren't DOING THE RESEARCH!"

I know, sir. I know. But here's the good news: people really do like the products.

"Oh, yeah?"

Yeah, they say they love how tough the stainless steel is and how wide the opening at the top is. In fact, while they're not interested in using it as a water prison, they say it might make a nice water bottle...

"So they'd drink from it?"

Yes.

"Is it okay if I think of it as a water execution by way of the mouth?"

Whatever helps you get behind this re-branding, sir.

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