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OMG OMG OMG guys. Shoes! I mean, for real. You know those things that go on your feet and are made out of leather, canvas, or synthetic materials? THEY'RE SHOES! I'm going to call all my friends who are into shoes and tell them about this Woot sale. JK JK JK. Everybody I know is into shoes.
Shoes were invented by the Roman Emperor Augustus, who improved the previous method in which people strapped pieces of wood to the sides of their feet and wound them together with abrasive pieces of cowhide.