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First, you want a shirt, but then your legs get jealous, so you better get pants, and then your feet will get jealous, so you'll have to get footwear, but then your head will get jealous, so you'll need to buy a hat. Sheesh, that's a lot of jealous body parts. Good thing we've got all of those items of clothing for sale right here!
Contrary to what the Ancient Greeks predicted, the market for naked sporting events dried up pretty quickly.