Turn the tables on discomfort.

Dirk has it all figured out. Dirk is the guy who weasels his way out of uncomfortable situations, without fail, every time. To many, Dirk is an enigma.

Dirk is not particularly good looking or charming. He has neither wit nor guile and, frankly, is of below-average intelligence. Dirk thinks ponies are just baby horses.

What Dirk does have, however, is a bevy of Under Armour shorts. And while Under Armour shorts are appropriate dress for sports, workouts and lounging around, they are inappropriate dress for performance improvement meetings, conversations about the future of your relationship, and court appearances.

Just last week, Dirk was encouraged to skip his grandmother's funeral when he showed up to the wake in coat, tie and Under Armour shorts. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret to Dirk's success. This and well-timed deep knee bends.

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