You don't get any bonus points for golfing barefoot, so why not put on some shoes?

"Hey Jeremy, ready to hit the green?"

"Yup!"

"Wait a minute. You're not wearing any shoes."

"Uh, DUH, Peter. Shoes are so 2011. Nobody wears shoes any longer. Ever. To do anything."

"Why?"

"Because the barefoot lifestyle was good enough for the Neanderthals, so it's good enough for the modern lifestyle, too."

"That's empirically ridiculous, Jeremy."

"Obviously somebody hasn't been on the internet lately. Articles about barefoot living are everywhere online."

"I'm on the internet every day, Jeremy. The internet, which, incidentally, the Neanderthals did NOT have. I'd like to point out, while we're at it, that the Neanderthals did not golf. In fact, there's virtually no similarity that would justify the preposterous notion that being barefoot throughout the course of your day is any better than wearing shoes. Never mind the fact that feet are, by nature, aesthetically disgusting at best."

"It's sweeping the nation, Peter. We're getting back to our roots."

"Look, what if we compromise? What if you put on these True Linkswear shoes? It'll give you the feel of being barefoot without imposing that insane concept onto the remaining population of rational individuals."

"Jeez, oppressive nanny man. Next you're going to make me start wearing pants."

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