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The round things you hit. The long things you hit the round things with. The things you wear while you're hitting the round things with the long things. We've got it all except the holes you hit the round things into. Postal regulations prohibit the interstate shipment of holes.
Golf was invented by the grass industry. They had a surplus and so someone was like, "Why don't we let people hit balls off this stuff?" To this day, in parts of New England, golf is called "slow grass hockey." It's kind of like a pop-versus-soda thing.