Want to lose weight in a hurry? Stop drinking water. 

"Oh God. Oh. Mmmmmm. Oh yeah. This water is so good. Hand me another 24 oz Stanley water bottle, please."

"Sure, here you go. Wow, you're drinking that like a horse. Slow down a bit."

"Maybe you're right. Ever since I came off the Desiccation Diet, I've just been fiending for water. I can't get enough of the stuff."

"The Desiccation Diet?"

"Yeah, you haven't heard of it? It's amazing. You can eat whatever you want, from hamburgers to donuts. The only catch is that you can't drink any liquids at all. You shed weight like crazy."

"Sounds like a fad."

"I know it does, but it's based on science. You see, the human body is 60% wasteful water. The trick is to get rid of it. Let's say you weigh 230 lbs…"

"Quite an assumption."

"With the Desiccation Diet, you would lose over half of that, and end up down at…let's see…92 lbs.!"

"Maybe a bit much."

"The trick is staying with it. [Glug glug glug] Mmmm. Gosh that's good, but I really shouldn't be doing this. Do you have any more Stanley 24 oz bottles?"

"No, it was just a 2-pack."

"That's probably just as well. Do you mind if you point me toward your bathroom? My body is rejecting all this water."

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