Brine/Estero Youth Athletic Shorts, 5pk

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Limit 3 per customer
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The Future is Homogenized

These are shorts. For Youths. Do not make any jokes.

So today we have a Brine/Estero Youth Athletic Shorts 5-Pack. That's five pairs of shorts. There won't be any joke about them. There will be no witty story involving, for example, a man embarrassed to find he accidentally ordered youth-sized shorts and is forced to wear them. We will not spin a yarn about someone hastily explaining away to a surprised date why they have a five-pack of youth shorts in their car (spoiler: the person is a youth soccer coach). Nor will we try to make some insensitive joke about university athletics.

For you see, we have recently taken a 15-minute PowerPoint presentation at the Airport Holiday Inn and learned that there is no such thing as a "brand" or a "voice" or "the right customer." All individuals everywhere on the planet at any one time are potential customers, and as such you must cater to them all, watering down your message as much as possible so as to include everyone who has ever or will ever possibly glance at a computer screen. This, we are told, is good marketing.

We apologize in advance for the offensiveness of the colors of these shorts. We are still focus-group-testing the optimal pleasing tone for human eyes. We believe it to be beige, but one person in Ottumwa, IA disagrees.

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Features

The Brine Warrior and Estero youth active shorts feature a classic, sleek look combined with a comfortable fit. Great for soccer, lacrosse, or just running around - boys and girls alike.  Each order will contain 5 shorts of the size ordered, in randomly selected colors.

  • 100% Nylon
  • Ultra-lightweight fabrication won't slow you down
  • Checkered pattern
  • Elastic drawstring (located outside the waistband on most styles, inside the waistband on those with piping)
  • Available in black, white, red, blue, navy, green, black & white
  • Patterns include solid, solid with white piping down hip, or black with white piecing down hip 
  • Made in El Salvador or Macau
  • Sizes Available: XXS (3/4), XS (5/6), S (7/8), M (9/10), L (11/12) and XL (13/14)

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Specs

In the box:

(Choose Your Size, Colors will be Randomly Selected)

(5) Brine or Estero Youth Athletic Shorts

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 39.555s
First Sucker:
Frig656fig
Last Wooter to Woot:
bckiwi

Purchaser Experience

  • 8% first woot
  • 5% second woot
  • 28% < 10 woots
  • 27% < 25 woots
  • 32% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 18% one year old
  • 74% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 71% bought 1
  • 21% bought 2
  • 8% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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3%
6%
12%
12%
10%
6%
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4%
3%
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2%
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Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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