WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

Poll: You’re on a hike through bear country when suddenly you’re attacked by a mountain lion. You’re totally unprepared, but your first instinct is to:
  • 25% - Reach for the folding knife I picked up from Sport.Woot and give that mountain lion what for. 282
  • 4.3% - Shriek in agony as the predator’s incisors crush through my vertebrae, severing my spinal column. 48
  • 12.2% - Heave the beast off my back and reach for the nearest rock to bash it. 138
  • 8.3% - Attempt to run away, only to be chased down and mauled after only three steps. 94
  • 22.5% - I would never be hiking in the first place. 254
  • 27.7% - With my dying breath whisper, “I thought this was BEAR country…” 313
1129 votes

Well, how do you fare compared to the Zeitgeist? Chat up your fellow wooters and let us know how lame this poll was or what obvious choices we missed. For example: Was this poll a) STUPID, b) DUMB, c) POINTLESS or d) ALL OF THE ABOVE?

TheTexasTwister


quality posts: 10 Private Messages TheTexasTwister

What? No option for "get mountain lion drunk with six pack of beer and then haul @** out of there?"

btpaschke


quality posts: 0 Private Messages btpaschke

Well, actually, would probably end up befriending it, teaching it several tricks and making a mint off the act....which would promptly get spent on bandages (for me) and steaks (which we would share).

huskykma


quality posts: 0 Private Messages huskykma

Well since pulling the gun wasn't an option I went with the knife as it was the closest option to it.

curtisuxor


quality posts: 56 Private Messages curtisuxor

I'll yell out with my dying breath, "I died supporting the right to bear arms."

werdwerdus


quality posts: 13 Private Messages werdwerdus
huskykma wrote:Well since pulling the gun wasn't an option I went with the knife as it was the closest option to it.



I would shoot it in the face

esher72


quality posts: 0 Private Messages esher72

I throw the knife down and I charge at the cat screaming in the loudest, most primal scream that I can muster. Then the cat and I fight to the death and I show that SOB who is at the top of the food chain. Or my family makes some scratch off of my life insurance. One of those two.

note2001


quality posts: 25 Private Messages note2001
werdwerdus wrote:I would shoot it in the face



Wooters are forgetting that Mountain Lions are cats, not elephants. Cats are silent, and sneaky. They average 150 pounds, all pure muscle and bone. This critter is pouncing on you from a tree limb just after you've passed by. There's no way in the world "you're pulling your gun" as it'll have it's jaws around the back of your neck and claws dug into your shoulders before you can wonder where those stars are coming from.

Best bet to save your life, if you can reach... go for the eyes.

gjbloom


quality posts: 6 Private Messages gjbloom

Speaking as someone who has been encountering this sort of thing on a daily basis lately, I can tell you that my immediate instinct is to inject Deadly Hunter, then open up with my SMG, or perhaps a flare gun, if that's handy.

charliecarroll


quality posts: 104 Private Messages charliecarroll

Easy choice of action. I trip my hiking partner making that partner the much easier kill and make my exit while the cat is having dinner.

RWoodward


quality posts: 58 Private Messages RWoodward
note2001 wrote:Wooters are forgetting that Mountain Lions are cats, not elephants. Cats are silent, and sneaky. They average 150 pounds, all pure muscle and bone. This critter is pouncing on you from a tree limb just after you've passed by. There's no way in the world "you're pulling your gun" as it'll have it's jaws around the back of your neck and claws dug into your shoulders before you can wonder where those stars are coming from.


Silly, you forget the fact that having a gun near you makes you both invincible and impervious to pain. And faster than any other living creature or being. And smarter. And morally superior. "Get my gun" is the correct action in every situation, ever.