For the last time, you're not getting in here without a shirt.
"I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA, BRO."
"It is. I assure you, it is. But rules are rules, and you can't enter the mini-mart without a shirt."
"BRO, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET SOME CIGARETTES AND A ZERO BAR."
"Gross. Regardless, I can't let you in unless you put on a shirt."
"OH I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT WE WERE THE LAND OF THE FREE. I DIDN'T REALIZE WE HAD ADOPTED SOCIALISM AS OUR CURRENCY."
"CONSTITUTION. WHATEVER. SHUT UP. JUST GIMME MY SMOKES AND MY ZERO BAR.""What if you put on something like this Rawlings Long Sleeve Fleece Pullover? Just for the couple of minutes it will take you to buy your stuff and leave?"
"NO WAY, BRAH. I'M A MAN OF MY PRINCIPLES."
"Then your principles will go hungry and nicotine-crazed, friend."