When setting out on a historic expedition into the American frontier, make sure to choose the right knife.
March 23, 1806
The Pacific Ocean
Dear, sweet journal,Two horses and one man died this week. We are precious short on foodstuffs and blankets. Tried to trade with locals but were rebuffed. Capt. Clark remains in a foul temper. Looking back, now, I have but one regret: That I chose a knockoff rather than the real Kershaw Compound Folding Knife.
It seemed at the time a minute disparity. Slight differences in blade style, grip composition, and clip design seemed trifling when preparing for this journey. But, O how I wish I could go back to that knife-purchasing day and un-do the decision I made. Every time the knife slips out of my benumbed fingers, I curse my former self for dismissing a decision of such gravity.
It may be said by future scholars that these United States of America failed to achieve their Manifest Destiny after the failure of the Lewis and Clark expedition and its inappropriately-chosen knifery. Easy as it is to berate myself now, I'm not sure if I would have ever been able to predict the watershed effects between the knock-off and the real Kershaw. It would have been more prudent by far to choose both knives, one for myself and one for Capt. Clark, and determined their appropriateness in the field.
Come to think of it, where has Capt. Clark been lately? That guy is thiiiiiis close to losing his job, dear journal.