Would you like to be a big fat blob of a human who relies on machines to do everything for you? Would you? WOULD YOU?!?!

Wouldn’t you like to have a machine that you could strap yourself into that would do everything for you? It could take you everywhere you want to go! It could cook your food for you and then cut it up into little bite-sized pieces for you and delicately feed it to you with a fork.

Also, it could have a screen where it would play all your favorite shows for you to watch while it also does all your work for you at your job. And maybe it could call your mom for you at least once a week. Sounds pretty great, huh?

Unfortunately, we have no idea how to make that. See, we’ve actually been working on it, and the closest we could come up with is…well…this thing. See! It’s like a thing you can sit on! And you can pull on stuff and move stuff with your feet!

Can it take you places? Well, no, not exactly. It’s completely stationary. And it can’t play videos for you unless you put a computer on it and play the videos yourself.

It also can’t call your mom for you either, but you could probably call your mom from it. If you, you know, had a phone and you picked it up and dialed it and talked to her and stuff. But it's up to you to decide if that's worth it or not.

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FitDesk v2.0 Desk Exercise Bike with Massage Bar

FitDesk v2.0 Desk Exercise Bike with Massage Bar
$199.99 In Stock Sporting Goods
$199.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
Woot! Sport.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.