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EXT. CRUISE SHIP DECK. DAY.

PROFESSOR UTENSIL
Now that I’ve taken care of the city’s crime problem, it’s time for me to take care of my stress problem.

PROFESSOR UTENSIL puts on sunglasses and sips a tropical drink. Suddenly, BAD GUY leaps onto the deck of the cruise ship in front of PROFESSOR UTENSIL.

BAD GUY
Your time has come PROFESSOR UTENSIL! Now, I’m going to take you down for good.

PROFESSOR UTENSIL
Not so fast, BAD GUY. Did you think that I wouldn’t bring my utensils with me just because I’m on vacation? Unlock utensil Gerber Steady Tripod Multi-tool!

PROFESSOR UTENSIL takes his Gerber Steady Tripod Multi-tool from the pocket of his cargo shorts and holds it out toward BAD GUY in a defensive posture.

BAD GUY
What are you going to do with that?!

PROFESSOR UTENSIL
It’s quite simple actually. First, I’m going to attach this portable tripod to my smartphone. Then, I’m going to use the camera on my phone to take your picture and send it to the police so they can use it to draw a really accurate police sketch. That way they’ll nab you in no time.

BAD GUY
Wait, so you’re not just going to arrest me right now?

PROFESSOR UTENSIL
As it turns out, I forgot to pack the tool with the handcuffs. Plus, we’re in international waters right now so the laws are kind of tricky and they charge you extra to use the internet on the boat, so I’ probably just going to wait until we get back to shore then email the picture. In the meantime, BAD GUY, would you care to join me for a drink?

BAD GUY
I could actually go for a beer. That thing doesn’t happen to have a bottle opener on it, does it?

PROFESSOR UTENSIL
Of course it does.

PROFESSOR UTENSIL uses his Gerber Steady Tripod Multi-tool to open a beer for BAD GUY. He then places the multi-tool in front of them on the deck and attaches his smartphone to it.

BAD GUY
I have to admit, that Gerber Steady Tripod Multi-tool sure is handy.

PROFESSOR UTENSIL
You can say that again, BAD GUY.

PROFESSOR UTENSIL and BAD GUY both lean towards each other, smile, and clink their drinks together, laughing as the smartphone takes their picture. The boat cruises into the sunset.

FADE OUT

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Gerber Steady Tripod Multi-Tool

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Gerber Steady Tripod Multi-Tool
$24.99 In Stock Sporting Goods
$24.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Sport.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.