Don't just go stabbin' at things in the dark!
When you're competing in a knife-triathlon, you need to have the best equipment. You can't expect to show up on race day and compete with the best of the best when you're working with a cheap, flimsy pocket knife. You need to be fully equipped, and there's no better way to do that than with this Gerber Multi-Tool.
When you and your fellow knife-wielding competitors take to the starting line, you want to be prepared for each event. You want to be ready for the slicing, you want to be ready for the wire-cutting, and of course, you want to be fully ready for the home stretch: the screwdriving.
And after days and days of training, and plenty of dedication and hard work, you don't want to blow it all because you can't see your hand in front of your face, do you? That's why you should buy one of these flashlights as well. In the meantime, we'll implore the knife-triathlon committee to start having these things during the day.